A world of my own

2011-07-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

Plant the seed,

so that even if you leave,

it will grow.

This is the last time

2011-06-22T00:18:00.002+08:00

This will be the last time.

I've been holding on to you for too long.

Sometimes I asked,

Why did I know you for so long?

Sometimes you replied,

Nothing.

I think I knew the answer from the start.

It's not that I was looking away,

It's just that I didn't wake up.

You said I knew the answer since the beginning.

You knew it the minute I bestowed this title upon you.

Why just smile and continue my dream?

I guess that's just the way you are.

Thank you.

Thank you for all the wonderful dreams you gave me.

Thank you for leading me here.

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for reminding me that we all have to wake up.

And good bye.

I'm waking up from this dream.

Until then,

have a good rest.

Hedied.

2010-11-03T00:20:00.004+08:00

"Are we alive?"

"Are we happy?"

"Are you insane?"

I'm not sure why...

I've been hearing things since...5mins ago.

It's like...someone is suddenly questioning me after all those silent years.

...

Years? I've been through years?

Maybe not.

Maybe I haven't seen my life yet.

So what am I doing?

I seem to ask myself meaningless questions.

Maybe I should stop...

"Are you insane?"

...Maybe yes.

Is it just us?

2010-01-21T13:17:00.002+08:00

I can never understand humans. Even though I'm one myself. We never really understand the things around us, and we try to give them a forced explanation from a restricted point of view. But we never know that we can just ask them and if we care to listen, they'll give us a reason.

Telepathy, huh? Most of us just think that is a myth. Whatever. That 'myth' is the one and only universal language in this entire universe. That includes andromeda, our solar system...etc. People would understand each other without words. They would communicate with only their feelings, and there would be no misunderstanding.

Too good to be true, huh? Well, we can never blame you. It is you who have been brought up in this well, brought up to believe that you can never fly beyond this shallow well, brought up to believe that there is no existence other than this small place. How sad. To think that billions of souls are trapped in this well, with only the word "Belief" blocking our freedom.

Haven't you heard? That the only time when we are truly free is lost the minute we are born. Before we notice it, we are trapped in a cage forever.

Why, you ask? I do not know, but ironicially, we are the ones who trapped ourselves. Blinded by our foolish reasons and trying our very best to climb up this well. It looks so tall from here. The sky is the only thing we can see from here, that small piece of sky that we are all straining for.

Do we ever think? Do we ever sleep? Do we ever dream?

Or is it just us, just us alone reaching for that white and black sky? Or is it just our vision that's black and white?

.::Continue questioning and one day we'll find the answer::.

2012 true or false?

2009-11-26T16:46:00.003+08:00

This is the entire story from my facebook wall.

-Firstly, the Sun IS GOING TO REACH IT'S SOLAR CLIMAX IN 2012 whether u like it or not. When it does, that is going to be the sun's GREATEST SOLAR CLIMAX EVER SEEN BY MANKIND. Dunno why? Google 2012 solar climax. If you're not a bird-brain, you'll understand. So, Earth will most likely be hit by the heavy radiation from the sun and its CMEs. Either the earth will get hit by those massive fireballs OR increased solar radiation to catastrophic levels OR depletion of earth's magnetic field(planes, cellphones, power stations will all malfunction).

-Secondly, solar radiation and the gravitational pull from the Galactic Alignment will cause the Earth's crust to shift.When that happens, it'll be like that in the movie 2012. Earthquakes of 10.9 or even 11.9 will strike. Tsunamis of height more than 100m would appear and singapore, shanghai,blah blah, would sink. Whether Africa would rise, I do not know. But ti would be good to invest in another Noah's Ark. Those government officials are really building ships(Let it be Noah's Ark or a space ship) that would SAVE ONLY THEIR LIVES WHEN CATASTROPHIES STRIKE.

-(the movie missed out this)Thridly, PLANET X IS IN COLLISION COURSE WITH EARTH. If you have heard me saying about a planet called NIBIRU, that's PLANET X. Scientists have yet to confirm if it will collide with earth, but if it does, ALL LIFE ON EARTH WILL BECOME EXTINCT. If it does not, major climatic disasters will still occur. Scientists have actually discovered Nibiru in 1980s, therefore this explains their extreme interest in finding another planet that could sustain life like earth.

ok. that leaves you good people with 3 explanations to the 'myth' of 2012. all are scientifically proven and all are disasterous.

SO THE CONCLUSION IS: 2012 IS CONFIRMED TRUTH. BRACE YOURSELF.

Remember, you heard it first from Endro. (=

the end of the path

2009-06-09T15:33:00.002+08:00

when you are lost in the midde of nowhere,
start looking for a path leading you home.
lights will guide you,
but the path looks dark at the end,
and who will be there to welcome you?

Leave these questions behind,
and start walking.
Who will have the courage to walk down that path,
and who will have the patience to wait?
Don't be afraid,
for if you never try,
you'll never know.

Those lights shining down on you,
they are smiling.
It's time that you stand up,
and go down that path.

The darkness will be your guard,
and the lights will be your guide.
They'll take you back home.
Someone's waiting at the end of the path.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2009-04-29T11:26:00.003+08:00

YEA!!!
THIS IS THE MOMENT THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!
I'm 16!!!!!!!!
yea yea yea yea.
Now i can go watch NC16 movies to my heart's content.
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!

since i'm here,
might as well as do some advertising.

once you are 16...
COME JOIN THE OLD WOMAN CLUB!!!!
THIS CLUB ALLOWS U TO WATCH NC16 MOVIES WITHOUT WORRYING BEING CAUGHT UNDERAGE!!!!
AND ONCE YOU TURN 18,
JOIN THE PREMIUM OLD WOMAN CLUB!!!
UNLIMITED ACCESS TO M18 MOVIES!!!!!
AND REMEMBER,
THERE'S ALWAYS SPACE FOR THE GOLD CLASS OLD WOMAN CLUB WHEN YOU REACH 21!!!
FINALLY, WHEN THE TIME COMES FOR YOU TO TURN 40...
COME TO THE (very young) GIRL POWER CLUB!!!!
where girls can talk about their life, lousy husbands and noisy children!!!

ok.lol.end of my advertisment.
actually i was thinking of creating tt club on facebook, but dunno how.lol.
haven even start on emaths yet.die le.i'll go off now to mug.

P.S. I want my presents!!!

fri 13 march 2009

2009-03-16T12:55:00.003+08:00

hm. met a really interesting psychotherapist on fri 13 march 2009.
but there's one problem that really materialized.
I thought that people like him might mistake a friend for a patient.
Well, I'm not that much of a friend either.
Whatever.
But I do believe that he was once an indigo, and it seems like he moved on to a crystal. He felt more tranquil than an indigo.
...
I should seriously quit this lousy habit of thinking who people are.(you may not understand what I'm saying, but that's the purpose)
Atlantis huh?
It sounds familiar.
But I still love Sirius more.
Though I hate it too.
Ah forget it, I love Hidiet the most.
And I don't hate Hidiet for anything.
I seriously miss...(leave that for your imagination ba)

Endro. That's the name he came up for me, so shut up people.
More like it was once Andro.
Just...I am no longer there.
So I shall stick to Endro for the time being.

Ah crap,
I should stop being so random.
Ok where was I?
Anyway hardly anyone reads this blog so I can say it's my own world.

Hm. Thanks to my awesome memory, I can't remember his name. The psychotherapist.
I think it was L sth.
Damn.
Nvm.
He recommended me to go to this cafe called 'Going Om'.
I think I'm going. This fri. or wednesday.
Before that I checked out the cafe's website.
It's awesome.
Really want to change its name to 'Going Home'.
But they really do sound alike. I had mistaken it for going home at first and was thinking "I wanna go home".
...But it's a cafe.
Though it looks way more like a bar.
Crap.
And I'm going alone.
Friday's a good day to go I guess.

I wanted to borrow Temple's THE SIRIUS MYSTERY, but obviously the library doesn't have it.
Sad case.
But nvm, I'll summarize what I found on Sirius so far...

Sirius is a triple Star, so it's Sirius A, Sirius B and Sirius C.(can't they have better names)
Sirius system contains two of the eight nearest stars to the Solar System and is the fifth closest stellar system to ours.
With a mass nearly equal to the Sun's, Sirius B is one of the more massive white dwarfs known; it is almost double the 0.5–0.6 solar mass average. Yet that same mass is packed into a volume roughly equal to the Earth. (So basically it's a white dwarf)
However, since there is no internal source of energy generation, Sirius B will steadily cool as the remaining heat is radiated into space over a period of more than two billion years.

Erm, that's all it matters to me for the moment. I'm too lazy to refind those files on sirius. so I'm gonna end here.Haha.

2012

2009-03-10T18:09:00.002+08:00

Just realised that a lot of people from my generation know about the significance of 2012 A.D. Now I can freely blabber all the shit I know about 2012.

I have a blog especially dedicated to 2012--more like for fellow indigos. the link is in my blog-->under my bloggies-->Endro&Erawind. Scroll to the bottom of that blog. thanks. My words are in purple, while Erawind's are in blue. Do tag so I can tell who you are and crap to you about 2012.
For starters, Indigos are a new species of human beings. Us, that is.
A more detailed definition frm wiki: indigo children are children who are believed to represent a higher state of human evolution. The term itself is a reference to the belief that such children have an indigo-colored aura.^[1] Beliefs concerning the exact nature of indigo children vary, with some believing that they have paranormal abilities such as the ability to read minds, and others that they are distinguished from non-indigo children merely by more conventional traits such as increased empathy and creativity. like 90% of the new age pple, who should be teenagers now, are indigos. So I'm an indigo too.

Ah, since i started blabbering on indigos, might as well tell you pple about other terms:
crystals kids: Crystals instinctively channel healing energy. Their crystal nature enables them to pick up energy and aura colors from the people around them. They are acutely sensitive and are even more likely to become healers and lightworkers than indigos, but need space to themselves and a lot of care.

Many crystal children are born autistic or die in infancy because they are so remarkably sensitive. It has been suggested that the indigos are here to transform the world to one in which the crystal children can survive and do their work.

The life color of some indigo adults may transition to crystal when they are in their late twenties or older. The children of indigo parents are almost all crystals and indigos.

Starseeds: sorry cant find a proper definition yet. but it basically means 'people whose origins are not from earth. Their souls were not earth-bound, thus they may have came to earth from another planet. (I'm frm sirius.from further 'studies', i do think that I'm from sirius B)

nah, I'm not that great to be able to read minds. but somewhere close. Those who have always been listening me blabber, will notice. I'm oso an empath. Since 90% of you people reading this are indigos or crystals. So you people are oso empaths. So keep your comments to yourself. Whether you have psi, empathy, powers........................................... I'm not that interested to know.

Ok.I would like to shut up but here's a bit more details.

A calendar i found frm the internet. Basically it's from the Mayan calendar. Tho i think it's just a little bit crappish, it's pretty accurate for me at least.

Year 10. Beginning December 21, 2008
Mayan Astrology Count - 8 MANIK - A peace loving year filled with generous acts of kindness and inspiration and cooperation, yet outspoken and individualistic. A year to harmonize past issues and to transduce cosmic truth. Companionship balanced with freedom and a desire to travel to sacred lands will have our interest. Unconventional life styles, experimental relationships and controversial subjects will also a focus. A year to trust and respect, in spite of it weirdness. Learn to balance contradictory desires. Learn to be comfortable with your individuality.
Kiche Count - 12 KAWOK - Ka wak) Modern Yucatec translation - Cauac (Storm) A year represented by transforming flashes of light that anchor a deep focus for family and community. Represents the sustaining energy for the world and being fully realized, in contact with the celestial Gods. A good year for healing ceremonies. A year that helps us be good students and teachers with natural clairvoyance A year of activating impeccable order, physically and spiritually and emotionally. A year when we will not allow control. Watch for being insensitive and getting involved with other’s business without invitation. Can have spiritual tests this year that make us reconsider and question our beliefs.

Year 11. Beginning December 21, 2009
Mayan Astrology Count - 9 EB - A year of great solar influence. A year to empower free will and expand wisdom. A relaxed, courteous and careful year. A year to empower the formulation of new ideas. We may be overly sensitive, touchy and easily hurt this year, but will also be ambitious and hard-working. Work on issues of inner anger versus the desire for peace as well as self-interest versus self-sacrifice. Learn to empower feelings and foster purifying and healing actions.
Kiche Count - 13 KAT (cat) Modern/Yucatec translation - Kan (seed) - A year to uncover that which is hidden. KAT is represented by a net and makes this a year to collect information. Can be quite a difficult year filled with what we might consider punishments or tests, but can also be filled with effortless abundance. Watch out for arising demanding, hoarding natures. KAT is a good protector as it is focuses on survival issues and will also active a desire to improve ourselves with education, purifying our bodies, and working to improve our spiritual life. New inspiring ideas will emerge this year We will set high goals and will work and achieve these goals with passion. A high-strung year that may be hard on the nervous system.

Year 12. Beginning December 21, 2010
Mayan Astrology Count - 10 CABAN - A liberal, rational, controversial year that we will harness the power of manifestation. Very mentally active, rationalizing, clever and practical. Liberal and progressive and often controversial, magnified with strong convictions. Learn to balance a stable lifestyle with being changeable. Learn to hold focus and life together according to plan. Become more flexible and patient with life experience.
Kiche Count - 1 TOJ (toh) Modern/Yucatec translation -Muluc (water) - A year to offer payments to the spiritual world and to settle unfinished business, pay back loans of all kinds (material - emotional - spiritual). A year to purify our lives from all the past life karma, with ceremony and offerings. A year filled with hard lessons of the negative egos. A year to balance truth and love. A hard working year balanced with a great love for personal freedom. In a Toj year we can be easily angered, often moody, short sited, restless, self-destructive, and accident prone. We can also be attracted to entertainment in all forms and this can take us off our path. A year that can activate huge control issues and will rebel if we can’t control. Watch for aggressiveness over petty things. Do not react to life out of egos but from love.

Year 13. Beginning December 21, 2011 - Ending December 20, 2012
Mayan Astrology Count - 11 IK - A year to be dissolve the barriers between the spirit and physical worlds. Be flexible, expect the unexpected, for it will be a changeable and multidimensional year. A powerful year to let go and let God. Speak from the heart and balance change with security. We could experience difficulties with responsibilities, obligations and decision making. A year to learn and understand your fears and confront them.
Kiche Count - 2 ISH (ish) Modern Yucatec translation - Ix (wizard) - A year of the intelligence and awesome power of the jaguar. It is considered the heart of the planet - the map of the world - map of the cosmos. A year we have the ability to make swift and accurate decisions based in reality but still able to change our minds and direction easily. Watch for anger and the need for attention and power.

December 21, 2012 … The beginning of a NEW 104,000 year cycle
Mayan Astrology Count - 12 MANIK - A peace loving year filled with generous acts of kindness and inspiring cooperation, although outspoken and individualistic. A year to come to a deep understanding on past issues and to understand universal cosmic truth. A year when it all come together. Companionship balanced with freedom and a desire to travel to sacred lands will interest us. Living the dreams of unconventional life styles, experimental relationships. A year to trust and respect our uniqueness, in spite of our apparent weirdness. Learn to balance contradictory desires. Learn to be understand our unique individuality.
Kiche Count, 4 AJPU (ak poo) - Modern/Yucatec translation - Ahau (Sun) - AJPU is the light from which we emerge and the light to which we all will return. A year of the vision of the EAGLE and its connection with Grandfather Sun and the solar mind. The Lord of the Age of Flowers. Balance in the material and physical worlds. Strong, intelligent, hard working, yet tender and brave. This year anchors a spiritual certainty and the understanding of cycles of time and the interdependence of all living things. It offers us the ability to use the creative power of the universe. We will pass many tests of the mind and will. Remember to act from trust and let go of the belief in struggle.

Ok, I seriously wanna go and sleep cos my eyes are burning like shit.So thank you for bearing with me and goodbye. I'll update.soon.

The BOMB!!!

2009-03-03T19:56:00.002+08:00

A BOMB IS FOUND NEAR MY SCHOOL!!!!!
IT'S ACTUALLY WAY OLDER THAN ME AND MY PARENTS!!!!!
IT'S FROM THE SECOND WORLD WAR!!!!!

here's a report from 93.8LIVE:

3rd March 2009, 1329 hrs Unexploded bomb found in Clementi construction site

What's believed to be an unexploded bomb was discovered at a construction site in Commonwealth Avenue West yesterday afternoon.

Construction next to Nan Hua High School came to a halt at around 5 PM, and the police and army were called in soon after.

Eyewitness Kevin Magnus, who stays on the 18th floor of an HDB block facing the construction site, has been monitoring the situation using binoculars since last night.

Speaking to 938LIVE, Mr Magnus, who handled ordinances during his national service stint, believes he saw a bomb uncovered by the excavators.

"I peered down, and there seems to be a bit of, some commotion with the site supervisors. Thereafter the excavators stopped with their digging. And I was at the balcony peering down and I had a clear look. After they had cleared the earth, and they found a piece of cylindrical material. It looks cylindrical with fins. It looks like a bomb, 60 to 80 pounder."

Mr Magnus said that four men from the Bomb Disposal Unit were brought in, and the whole area was cordoned off by the police.

As of 12.30pm today, officers from the Singapore Armed Forces were seen digging a trench about a kilometre away from the bomb location.

Mr Magnus believes the trench will be used to detonate the bomb.

"There is a trench, which looks like what we used in the Armed Forces, a "shell scrap". I'm not too sure how deep it is. Surrounding it, there are concrete blocks, where you use concrete blocks to do weight piling. To do soil testing, there are 8 of them. And to the right of the concrete blocks, there are national service men filling up the sand bags with the earth from the construction site."

Police have confirmed that a "war relic" has been found, but were unable to provide further details.

Operations are currently ongoing to secure the site.

Police add that members of the public are advised not to be alarmed.

*****

OMG!!!!HOW COOL IS THAT!!!???

YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER EXPERIENCE IT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFETIME!!!

BUT THE WHOLE OF NAN HUA HIGH SCHOOL GOT A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE!!!!

WE EVACUATED AT 2.30 SHARP(DISCOVER THE BOMB TOO LATE) WHEN WE HEARD DR. FOO'S VOICE BOOMING FROM OUR WONDERFUL SPEAKERS:"ALL PERSONALS PLEASE LEAVE THE SCHOOL NOW! blah....blah......(but nvr say what happened there)"

AND ALL OF US WERE LIKE,"MURDER?"

BUT THE TRUTH IS WAY COOLER THAN MURDER!!!!!

HELLO?????BOMB FROM SECOND WORLD WAR WAS DISCOVERED NEAR NAN HUA HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!

oh man, how everyone wish that, for the first time, they wanna be a construction worker!!!!!

I WANNA BE THAT CONSTRUCTION WORKER WHO DISCOVERED THE BOMB!!!!!

I'M SO TEMPTED TO GO TO CLEMENTI TONIGHT TO WATCH THE BOMB GO OFF MAN!!!!!!

Tired

2009-02-28T01:48:00.002+08:00

I stood there for what seemed like eternity.
People walked past,
But none of them had the familiar face i was looking for.
None.

I wanted to cry.
Cry out the emotions that had been stagnant for so long.
But it's not like it's going to change anything.
Nothing.

Maybe it wasn't the right time,
Maybe it was just a mistake.
Just one mistake.
And that's enough to tell me that it's all a lie.

I only know that you and I were real.
It was a dream.
Or a story.
And the two lone characters...
Lived in their own worlds forever.

-Too tired to wait anymore.

Get a life...

2009-02-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

Get a life.
Yea.
I don't really think I have a life yet.
There are people wasting their 'life' away and I'm one of them.

At this point,
Won't you ask,
What about studies? What about your future?
(like hell you'll ask)

Er.Go get myself a life first?
I mean,
Look at what you are doing everyday.
Sometimes you are doing things that you don't even know why the hell you are doing that!
So,
Get a life!

People will never remember you for your money,
If you got a PHD,(permanent head damage)
Or if you are gorgeous or handsome or alien.
(Maybe they will, but not for long)

They'll remember you for the times you touched their heart.(Or stabbed it)
They'll remember it for life.

So, get my point?
I hope you'll at least remember me.

2009-02-01T21:52:00.000+08:00

I want to go home.
If you know what I'm talking about.
Not about the house that have something that we call a family,
But the place where everyone's waiting.

I want to go home.
Only home understands me,
Only home have the warmth that I really long for.
Only home is...there for me.

I want to go home.
That place,
The same place where there will be no emotion other than happiness.
That place,
Where you know that you'll never be alone.

I want to go home.
Not a empty house,
But a place somewhere in my heart.
But I know that it exists.
Somewhere.
Somewhere waiting for me.

Some of you know there,
For you have one too.
For others,
It's time to look for yours.

-I really, really want to go home.-

the sad world of sad fellows

2009-01-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Whatever the weather is,
I always like it.
May it be sunny, windy, rainy or cold,
It never fails to warm my heart.

But I love rainy days the most.
Just standing in the pouring rain,
You'll notice only your presence.
And everything else,
Is nothing.

The tears that drench you will be your own,
They'll let you realise that you are always alone.
Warmth, Love,
They are never meant to be yours.
They are never meant to be mine.

So what?
Let loneliness stand by your side,
Let it be the only one by your side.
When everything left you,
You'll be strong.
I'll be strong.

Until the day that someone holds out an umbrella,
Let the rain drench our souls.
Fret not,
Our souls have always been drenched,
Cold, lonely, looking for warmth.
When we understand that every light that appears out from nowhere,
Will disappear into nowhere to brighten and leave another life,
Let darkness be the one to guide you.

For I am darkness myself.
You are darkness yourself.

-To the world of darkness and despair that you have long known-

December 21, 2012. 11:11

2009-01-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

When I walked across the blue bridge of loneliness,
there was someone with me.
He was there, always, even though everyone else has left.
When I travelled through the tunnel of darkness,
he was still there,
being the light that guided me to the end of the tunnel.
But when I came to live,
he has died.

Sometimes, I long to be back home.
To walk through that same blue bridge,
To find my way through the dark tunnel,
But I know that he will not be there again.
Although lonely, although sad, although guilty,
I know that it was me who chose this path in the very end.

I am in this world now,
trying to see if I was right to come here.
I couldn't find the answer at times,
I can't even tell who I really am.
But who knows,
One day I will come to find it,
To see him.

That day is near,
I know.

Maybe it will be different from I want it to be,
But in the end,
It will be here.

Still waiting,waiting.
Maybe death is all that I'm waiting for.
Or let me phrase it in another way,
Maybe death is always waiting for me.
Maybe he is, always waiting for me too.

~Emo once again.~
Welcome to emo world.

A prayer lyrics

2008-11-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

This is a Korean anime, Wonderful Days, released in 2003. Amazing graphics and nice story. Here's the plot summary: In the future, after the human civilization ended by war and pollution, only those few people who had the power and technology escaped the disaster. Those people built the last human city of Ecoban. As its energy source is the pollutant, the people of Ecoban plan to destroy the inhabitants of Marr to get more pollutant. Standing against Ecoban is a young man who wants only to clear the skies of the clouds to show the wonderful heavens to the girl he loves.

Now here's the lyrics for the song that you are listening to, also from Wonderful Days. It's also has a Korean version, but sang by a female. Still worth listening to. Since the darn imeem player only plays a 30s preview for the song, i'm putting a version of the song here and a preview made by fans.

"A Prayer"

The soul of a child
Embraces the lights inside
What he’s looking for
Is the flowers above the wall
The boy’s tried to touch
It was high so much
He started sing a song
For the blossoms may have gone.

Let the rain fall down on me
I’d devote my leaves for thee
Singing of a child make’em to cry
The tears of the clouds fall.

The Prayer

A preview(looks like the whole movie though)

The field where it all started.

2008-10-14T15:44:00.000+08:00

When the day dawns,
the sun shall shine upon the field,
full of golden hay that sways in the wind.
Mountains stand tall in the distance,
looking at the scenery just below it's majestic self.
A gentle figure lie amongest the field,
His mind in the skies.
I walk up to his side,
And my eyes wandered up to the heavens.
Not a single sound, not a single soul,
A peaceful place where only you and me exist.
I walked to him once again,
a lonely soul bent down to hide his thoughts.
I sat beside him,
not a single word came,
for we both knew that this world is only an illusion.
He looked up,
but I could not even look at him.
A wall there is between us.
A wall of dimensions, a wall of different paths.
He stood up,
Looked far beyond those horizons,
As if he went that far,
While I'm still here,
Waiting for his silent return.
But this time,
It's me who took off.
It's me who decided to go to a place,
Where we can end this story that has gone on forever.
He looked at me,
at my shadow among the field,
for my soul is there in the skies,
to find that place.
Here I am now,
waiting for the day,
that you will arrive to look at me in the eyes,
just like once, thousands of years ago.
Here I am,
waiting for ascension.
Waiting for you.

Lullaby

2008-09-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

Sleep well, close your eyes, but remember I'm by your side.
Don't forget, it's been years that I've been lying beside you.
I don't know how you cried for me, for my eyes were closed, my soul in a faraway place.
I don't know, how I'm crying for you, like you did for me, but even so, you may not open your eyes.
When you quiver in fear,realize that I'm fighting away your fears, so please rest in peace.
You may not hear this lullaby, but I'm singing it my your side.
Please don't cry, for I'm crying by your side.
So sleep well, forget your loneliness, that I caused for not being there for you.
Sorry I can't go to the place that you are now, but remember, I'm always by your side singing this lullaby.
Only see me in your sleep.
So, Good Night.

Beijing 2008 china jiayou!!!!!

2008-08-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

BEIJING JIAYOUS!!! ONE WORLD ONE DREAM!!!!

THE OPENING CEREMONY IS LIKE THE BEST IN HISTORY!!!!

THE FIREWORKS TT LOOKS LIKE FOORPRINTS ARE SO DAMNED CREATIVE!!!!

AND THE DRAWING OF THE CHINESE INK PAINTING WITH THE DANCERS' DANCE MOVEMENTS ARE SOOO AWSOME...

LI NING IS FLYING IN THE SKY~ COOL

AND HE'S RUNNING IN THE SKY,COMPLETELY THE LAST LAP OMG......

AND THE SCREEN BEHIND HIM IS UNHOLDING AGAIN...UNHOLDING THE HISTORY OF CHINA...and the scroll is moving faster than him-.-

THE TOUCH IS LIT!!!!WOOOOOOOO!!!!

AND THE FIREWORKS!!!!O.0

JIA YOU TEAM CHINA!!!!!

flashback

2008-03-03T18:16:00.000+08:00

juz thinking back...

the memories of 207 are lovely...EXCEPT COMMON TESTS!

there are some photos i took...

this one->(left)

is HangZhou. It's absolutely beautiful.(depending on where u go) it was not too sunny then and this is a liitle too dark. Nonetheless,the boat caught my attention.it looks more like a house...

the one beside it is oso hangzhou...haha...i love climbling mountains. so...there is a shoe at the bottom of the pic, and that's my shoe. the grey sports shoe... u c it?
the mountain's not too high, but it's a lot of effort to climb up. the wind and the scenery up there is totally worth the climb. you can sit there and be emo. yay!^^

To the world of dreamers~

2008-02-15T18:48:00.000+08:00

Drip, drip, drip.
Tears that flow,
That touched the ground,
One by one.

Closing my eyes once more,
Wondering when will my last be.
At the same time,
Hoping that when I open my eyes,
I'll see nothing.

Sometimes I wish that I couldn't see,
Couldn't see this world as clear as it is now.
Every face, every guesture, everyone.
How many that walks past me,
And how many do I know?
So close and yet, so far.

Sometimes I hope that I can see for a longer time,
See the world as it is.
Paint my own colours along with its,
And feel the smooth texture.
How long will that be?
Or is it a dream that will be gone when I open my eyes?
If so,
Allow me to dream on.
~To the world of dreamers~

Got stuck in the lift!!!

2008-01-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

Today me, shenle, pearlin tan and chen jing got stuck in the lift. Stupid, right? Coz pearlin, sl and me jumped in the lift.-.-
Oh, and the lift is the one to shenle's house, and it is reaaaallllyyy old. It only stops at 1st, 5th, 9th and 13th floor. And we are stuck at 1 and half storys high.(T.T)

Shenle immediately called the no. for emergency help, while the other 3 of us just try our best to breathe as slowly as possible. Lack of oxygen was going to become a problem.

Chen jing was scared, me happy actually, pearlin nervous but excited, shenle also scared.

Shenle started telling me that she don't want to die yet, chenjing said that she haven't got a boyfriend and wanna watch her baby brother grow up. Pearlin just said shut up. I wanted to sit down and talk about ghost stories, but none of them was in the mood, the lift was too bright too. Blah.

In the midst of all the confusion, I really wonder why shenle could sit down and ask us,"Can do homework?" We all stared back at her and that I told her to die.

The 4 of us started chatting about our death wishes, and all the negative things we could think of. Shenle actually asked us if we should jump again to see the lift would move. Of course, she was joking, but the rest of us were like,"Later the lift collapse, and we're all going to die."

10 minutes passed... All of us were getting bored. Shenle joked that we should be on TV like the programme 'Seconds before disaster'. I corrected her saying that we should be on 'I shouldn't be alive'...LOL. By then, Chenjing started feel suffocated, but it wasn't that serious, so she kept silent, while the rest of us were still chatting away. I recorded a video, asking shenle first," What...Oi! Oi! Shenle! I'm filming!......Ok, what are your feelings on this... kind of trapping incident?"

She became stern immediately and replied, "I'm never going to take a lift again."

I turned to pearlin and repeated my question, she said,"Everyone shut up."

And chenjing said,"Very sad..." huh?

And then I turned the phone camera to myself and said, trying to look sad as well, saying, "And me? I dun wanna die."

Pearlyn immediately did a follow-up 'victory-sign' in front of the camera and said, "yay."

15 mins later, everyone was not talking...dead.

Ok,ok,ok,ok, i'm just joking, but me and chenjing were really staring to feel difficult breathing. The other two bastards probably didn't even notice the lack of oxygen problem. Just as I was having terrible 'visions' on everyone suffocated in the lift...etc., the lift finally moved upwards. Ah-ha! A glimmer of hope! But the rescue uncle stupid ar, we are stuck at 1.5 storeys and he pulled us up to the 5th level.

Yay! We are all out, sniffing the fresh air and pearlin choking on the fresh air.(too happy, maybe?)

I'm back!!!

2007-10-16T18:27:00.000+08:00

Hello!
I'm back!
Don't jeer, at least clap mah!
Wanna know the reason why i came back to blog?
Coz I wrote a new story and juz wanna tell everyone abt it!(muahahah)
If you wanna puke, go now before you vomit blood.

Here's just a summary for the story I wrote:=>
"The Path"
It's about a boy who found his tribe destroyed by the military in charge after being saved by an old lady in a far-away ruin. He had no memories about life with the tribe, but he longs for a loving family that he believes he had before the military destroyed the tribe. He decided to revive the tribe, but the old lady strongly objects.

She claims that the military has its reasons to destroy it, but the boy would not listen. He now journeys to find the Oracle who is believed in legends to grant him a wish. Along the path...He found friends, friends who wanted things out from this world. All of them wanted a wish granted, but none of them knew the reasons for the happenings around them.

They thought that a wish is a wish...But what shall be the true meaning behind everything? Why did everything happen in the first place? The boy realises it in the end, but it only becomes too late for return as the reasons reveal themselves.

=>This story mainly forcus on the currents of this world,(haha) and gives an imagined explanation for them. (maybe correct or wrong, see for yourself!)
Thx for bearing with me for so long and please bear with me even longer and read the story, "The Path" in my other stories bloggie! It's in my linkies! Comment too hor!Thx!

happiness is...

2006-11-29T12:06:00.000+08:00

What if one day...
You woke up and nothing is left by ur side...
Nothing but loneliness...fear and sadness?
Until then...
What would you be thinking?
And...
Which path would u be most likely to choose?
The path to realization...that even without anything...Life could still be continued...And mission in life would be found... Or the path to desperation...?
Fearing what u have gained will be lost again...And never had a single minute of peace...
Both are the cause of one simple thought...
"What is happiness?"
the lucky ones will noe tat happiness is having the ability to smile and bring a smile to one's face.

"What is happiness?"

the unfortunate ones will noe that it is getting hold of what you have left or there will be no hope left.

If then...You will never be able to grasp what you have finally gained... And that is when desperation and fear sips in, swallowing ur confidence and ur light.

So, ask urself this..."What is happiness?"

is this always not meant to be?

2006-10-04T13:37:00.000+08:00

There are things that are not meant to be....
Things that we thought they would...
When the truth was out...
no one would smile any more....
Coz'...The truth is always painful....
And...They are just not meant to be...
Is this called fate...?
Or are these lies that stay covered?

...It was all meant to be...
We were the same...
Or once....
You seemed to have everything...
But no one can see your hidden tears...

I never had anything...
Or that i had....?
A desire...
A thought...
Was all that I can own...

We had our similarities...
But only I knew them...
"Why...?"
Don't ask me...
Ask fate...
And tell it to give me an answer...
Coz' i really wonder why my fate is...this......

Teddy's words

2006-08-30T17:31:00.000+08:00

The moon's up again...
The stars start blinking again...
I start counting my fingers...(or toes)
Coz'...
Without your presence,
I'm all alone...
It's getting cold in here...(Brrr...)

Rubbing my hands together...
It's a freezing torture to wait...
For a person who will never come...
Who have forgetten me long ago...

The memories are sad but warm...
Everything's freezing now...
The river is freezing with me...
My breath is getting weaker...
My daze is fading away...
~To the lost and hopeless creatures

Places tt u wan to be...

2006-08-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

Life is like the deep blue Ocean....
When you are happy, the waters dance around...
When you are angry, the calm waters roars up...
Sometimes gulping up innocent ships that cross your path...
It's until the ships sank to the bottom of your seabed...

Only then you'll realise that you have done wrong...
It's far too late to correct them...
But it's a lesson that you have to learn...
In order not to make the same mistakes again...
Believe me, your life will be full of remorse if you never change.....

Autumn & Winter....

2006-08-12T11:48:00.000+08:00

Autumn.....
It's when leaves start falling....
When memories are a blur.....
When you are away,...
Not by my side any more...
Winter......
It's when trees are blunt....
When memories are frozen...
Like the frozen water which once flowed through the river....
It's when all things go into hibernation....
Numb with cold but pretending that nothing is happening....
~To the snowmen and snow women out there.....

If the world's all flooded with tears...

2006-08-10T14:36:00.000+08:00

If the world's all flooded with tears, would u drown or find a way to survive?
If there's no one there for you, would you cry your heart?
If there's no one who really know you, would you hate this world?
If there's a more peaceful world out there, would you leave this world?
If there's only hate and grief in this world, would you be able to withstand it?

All that I've said so far...are nothing but my imagination...
But you can see that most of them are true...They are all caused by us...
Can we solve the problems, or cause more trouble?
Balance is essential in this world...Devil's eyes are needed, so is an angel's heart...

Oh gosh! I lost myself again!

2006-08-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

Those who really notice me, know that my eyes are like the sea.
Those who never see through me, know that I am a wild, spoilt person.
Those who have gone through a wild series of troubles with me, know that I am loyal.
Those who are my great friends, know that I can split my personalities into a dozen forms.
Those who only look at me, know that I am a freak.
Those who are the people I feel comfortable with, knows that I am humourous.
Those who love to tease me, know that I will only smile or be emotionless.
Those who hurt my friends or loved ones, you'd better watch out!

Rats! Do you really know who I am? I forgot!

The tragedy that happened in a fren's dream

2006-07-26T17:04:00.000+08:00

The music was singing again.Nothing matters, u might think, But what if it is a song that i knew in my past life? It can't be possible,tat might just be my imagination. But what if it is a song that three other people had heard it and found the song very familiar? What if it's a song I thought I had learnt before but was played during a lesson time.
Although I do not know the lyrics, but somehow I could make out what I sang. The words came out automatically.The same things that happened in a fren's dream, the song, the kingdom and the four main characters.

The black horse is what I choose,
The white horse is what I avoid.
The destiny is right in my hand,
But yet I let it flow like the sand,
Which sipped through the narrow hole of the hour-glass.
Is my decision wrong?
Is my ending never happy?
Will the Ocean ever be big enough to contain my emotions?

World's withering...

2006-07-23T14:26:00.000+08:00

The world's withering, can U see why?
Everyone has a soft heart, but what is it that made their heart so hard?
Even the kindest person can turn bad, but can a bad person turn good?
The good people are already extinct, and what's left are only the bad people.
Greed, Hatred, Evilness, chaos is all that is left,
When will light even shine its temper rays onto earth again?
~The messy world around us~
Do you even know that I am here?

Never find a day of joy...

2006-07-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

Memories flood by,
But I couldn't find that's mine,
Something that never belongs to me,
Something that never make me glee...

Never find a hope of getting a day
Where I'll light up a smile,
Never find a day of joy,
of hope, of love,
Isn't that what I want?
~To the world of sad fellows